Good morning. Can you all hear me? Good. Happy Mother's Day. I don't know what your experience of Mother's Day is, but for me, Mother's Day got reduced to the lowest common denominator without meaning to cast aspersions on a hallmark card company. It's gotten to be a kind of generic category that certain things have been hallmarked. So, I want to say a few words about the history of Mother's Day because, for me anyway, it brought this day of observance for peace in the world to life. So let me read you something. What I want to read you are words spoken by Julia Ward Howe in 1870 in London on the occasion of her calling for the convening of mothers from the nations of the world in order to bring peace in the world.

[01:24]

After her experience of going through, in the United States, the Civil War, and seeing what had happened as a result of that struggle over slavery, she became very involved in work leading to peace in the world. She's also the author, or authoress, if you will, of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. So this is what she said. Arise all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or tears. Say firmly, we will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us wreaking with carnage for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy, and patience.

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We, women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth, a voice goes up with our own. It says, disarm, disarm. The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood does not wipe out dishonor. Violence does not indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow, and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a greater and earnest day of counsel." I was very moved when I heard those words.

[03:38]

She started convening meetings of women for this purpose beginning in 1972 in Boston and apparently over the years such gatherings began to be held in various states of the United States. Such that in I think the meeting in 18, thank you, 72 was on the second day of June. So that was when Mother's Day was in her hand, if you will, marked. And in 1915, Woodrow Wilson declared Mother's Day in this spirit as an annual national day of gathering. rather different association with Mother's Day than some obligatory purchase of flowers or candy or dinner out.

[04:50]

I've always, as a mother, felt a little uncomfortable about Mother's Day. I'm not sure exactly why, but I look forward to spending this afternoon and this evening with my children and my own mother. with our gathering being for the sake of our all, doing whatever we can to bring about peace in the world. I may be particularly sensitive to this message, if you will, because I was in Washington D.C. last week on the occasion of a celebration of Tibet on behalf of the Tibetan people, and in support of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who was in Washington, D.C., to ask members of the Senate and the House if they would please help his people by voting for restrictions on most favored nation status for China being tied to their human rights

[06:04]

performance and in particular the genocide for the Tibetans called population transfer. The Tibetans expect that they will be such a minority as to disappear in their own country within two or three years. So my husband and I went to Washington DC to do whatever we could by our presence and by the expression of our heart feeling for our dear friends and Dharma brothers and sisters in the Tibetan community, both in Tibet and in exile, and to bathe in the delightful light that seems to be part of His Holiness's presence in the world. And he said something at one of his talks, I can't remember exactly which one, about how we need a new, a fourth refuge.

[07:13]

But before I say something about that, I also want to bring into our consideration this morning this passage from the Dhammapada, which is a collection of verses spoken by the historical Buddha. And there's this one passage which I think many of us know, but which is relevant to this understanding about Mother's Day. We are what we think, having become what we thought. Like the wheel that follows the cart pulling ox, sorrow follows an evil thought. And joy follows a pure thought, like a shadow faithfully tailing a man. We are what we think, having become what we thought. How will a hate leave him if a man forever thinks, he abused me, he hit me, he defeated me, he robbed me? Will hate ever touch her if she does not think, she abused me, she hit me, she defeated me, she robbed me?

[08:21]

There is only one eternal law. Hate never destroys hate. Only love does. So, in one of the talks that His Holiness gave where he talked about the refuges, the refuge a practice of going for refuge to Buddha as the perfect teacher, Dharma as the perfect teaching, and Sangha as the perfect life. He proposed that perhaps what we need in the world now is a fourth refuge, that is, the refuge of the international community, the global community. Because although it has always been true that fact of interdependence that the life any one of us leads here is intimately connected to the life and the condition of every being and thing throughout the world.

[09:24]

We know it in a different way these days. When you go to the doctor for your checkup and he says, not only must you use your seatbelt, you must also use your sunblock. we have palpable evidence of how much what we do affects the entire world, and in fact, the very existence of Mother Earth. As we were in Washington, we also went to visit the Lincoln Memorial. And again, I was struck by the same message about the relationship between our activities, our intention, and our effect on the larger world. Standing in the memorial and reading Lincoln's Gettysburg Address carved into the stone blocks of the wall on the left side of Lincoln's statue and his second inaugural address on the right side,

[10:36]

this kind of shrine, if you will, to a declaration of liberty, justice, freedom, equality for all who live, marking the fact of danger to these qualities of life that arise in the form of greed for wealth and power. I was struck by how much his message is one for us to pay attention to, to heed today, just as much as when he spoke those words. During the evening celebration for Tibet, many artists from throughout the United States gathered to offer they're dancing or singing, mostly music.

[11:40]

And one of the artists who was there was Ritchie Havens, who played his guitar, played a song that he's quite famous for, called Freedom, passionately. And apparently his holiness was quite taken with Ritchie Havens and his song. His Holiness and the artists who performed that evening all had breakfast together the next morning and he had some hobnobbing with Ritchie Havens about this declaration about freedom. One of the most poignant moments in Ritchie Havens' singing was the segment in the song where he uses the old, old refrain about, sometimes I feel like a motherless child. I feel teary just remembering that moment because, of course, His Holiness kind of nodded his head, yes, sometimes I feel like a motherless child.

[12:50]

And I thought how many people in the world are in that condition and how many of us have at times in our lives had that experience of loneliness of feeling forgotten, of feeling desperate for some help or succor or protection or sustenance. I'm moved to bring this relationship of mother and child up for our examination not just because it's Mother's Day, but because I think it's very useful for us to consider this relationship which is referenced, which is held up as an example of a way of being in spiritual practice in many different traditions.

[13:54]

Certainly that is true in the Buddhist tradition. very often there will be, in a meditation practice, the suggestion that one hold another person, or maybe even some aspect of one's own mind, one's own behavior, to hold whatever it is one is attending to at the heart. And the instruction often is, in the manner of a mother holding her newborn-only child, as a way of talking about that quality of tenderness, of gentleness, of being with, that is free from either denial or expansiveness, but is completely about being present with what is so. There is, in fact, a meditation practice that I've been doing for some while and that some of us explored earlier this year in the context of looking into anger.

[15:12]

It's a very old mindfulness practice that is about how to transform anger. The first step of the five-part meditation which is in and of itself a wonderful practice, after settling and collecting oneself, having in mind some sense of what is arising, for example, agitation or upset or anger, to let awareness settle on the breath, breathing in and breathing out. And as I breathe in, I note the emotion anger arising in me. As I breathe out, I note this emotion of anger. In my noting, as I breathe in and breathe out, including noticing whatever sensations may be accompanying the emotion.

[16:17]

And in the teaching, the suggestion is to actually, either actually or visualize doing, this holding as a mother would hold her only newborn child, to hold the anger at the heart in that way, just holding, just being with, and to be present with, noticing as we breathe in and out what is so. It is amazing to me what happens in the arising and falling, rising and falling, of some strong, difficult, sometimes overwhelming emotion like anger, what can happen when I attend to that rising of afflictive emotion in this way. And that in fact this is a model, if you will, of a way of being with

[17:24]

virtually anything, anyone. We are so accustomed to doing that we sometimes don't let ourselves know how powerful, how effective, how sufficient noticing in this wholehearted way can be. So holding without denial or expansiveness, but with great gentleness, as a mother would with her newborn only child. When we think about a mother, and for those of us who have had less-than-perfect mothers, we may have some difficulty with this, but even with our less-than-perfect mothers, it is, I think, possible to come eventually anyway to know that

[18:27]

whoever or however my mother or your mother mothered each of us, she did the best she was able to do under the circumstances of her life. And that it is in this referencing motherhood or mothering, we all know the qualities that we are talking about, in particular qualities of compassion, of gentleness, of tenderness, of nurturing, of reaching out with the heart to another, being with. The quality of compassion, the capacity for love, is seen in the Buddha's teachings as fundamental to our practice, our cultivation of awakeness. For those of us who aspire to vow to save all sentient beings, to become enlightened for the benefit of all beings, the cultivation of these qualities, the cultivation of compassion is critical, is essential.

[19:47]

So there are a number of practices that we may do for the cultivation of loving-kindness, of compassion. of a capacity for open-heartedness for others, and in particular for the suffering of others. There is one practice where we can actually imagine that all beings in the world either have been or will be our mother. It's very interesting to think about my relationship with each being in the world from that perspective. There is another practice path in which one is encouraged to cultivate one's capacity for taking on, that is resonating, being sympathetic with the suffering of others instead of preoccupation with one's own misery.

[20:58]

Sometimes called the practice of exchanging self for other. The cultivation of compassion is classically described as being necessary at all points along the path. So that when we begin, we are beginning practitioners, compassion is like a seed that we plant. And as we continue in our spiritual practice, compassion becomes the water for watering the seed. And compassion is described as the fruit, the crops that one harvests in the fall after everything has come to fruition. So, in the spiritual path, when one has reached that condition, if you will, of enlightenment, of awakeness, of full realization, compassion is then the fruit of that condition.

[22:12]

There's a wonderful story that I read in a commentary on the Dhammapada about a trader. I like this story because it's about a man who has the quality of mothering, which is, of course, the point, isn't it? We're not talking about gender bias in the cultivation of motherhood or capacity for mothering. In this story, this trader had a son whom he loved, he thought was perfect in every way, intelligent and beautiful and wonderful. He was completely gone on his son. One day when his son was out playing, he fell into a cesspool. And all the other relatives in the family, in this particular story, even the mother, wailed and carried on and were full of great grief, but didn't do anything.

[23:26]

But the father rushed into the cesspool without any aversion to the pond. Without any hesitation, he jumped in in order to rescue his son. that quality of willingness to jump into the cesspool to rescue one's child. Now, this kind of example is always a little tricky for those of us who do this kind of thing with the world and don't have ourselves on the list of who we are tender with and mothering. The teachings are always encouraging us to cultivate this quality of heart for all beings. So that does include ourselves, doesn't it? But not exclusively ourselves. A while ago, I don't now remember exactly when, I was at an exhibit of Russian icons.

[24:44]

And there were three in particular that were described, they were identified as paintings of the God of tenderness. And they were paintings of the Virgin Mary holding the Christ child as an infant. It's always interesting in Russian icons, the Christ child always looks like an adult but very small-sized. Anyway, one of these paintings, actually all three of them, the Christ child had his left arm around his mother's neck and was reaching towards her cheek with his cheek. But there was one painting in particular where their cheeks were actually touching. And the painting was so vividly an expression of the quality of tenderness. I felt my heart open when I looked at that picture.

[25:47]

And all I could imagine was that the person who painted it must have deeply, thoroughly known that condition of heart. Otherwise, I don't think the painting would have been possible. So I'm telling you these various stories and quotes and references as a way for us to consider taking seriously His Holiness's suggestion that we add a fourth refuge to the refuges, that we take to heart the cultivation of a more intimate relationship with ourselves as members of the global community, and that we let today be a day for

[26:58]

thinking about the qualities of relationship between mother and child as the template, if you will, for how we may be with ourselves and with each other and with every being in the world. That it is indeed time in the world for us to find a way to meet hate and violence and dis-ease with these qualities of tenderness, of sympathy, of nurturance, of listening, of compassion. We have a lovely day. It's very warm, and the blossoms are out on many of the plants, wild and cultivated.

[28:09]

It's not so difficult to practice open-heartedness on a day like this, especially when it's a day off. and our pace might be a little slower, so that we might spend a few moments letting ourselves consider the possibility of cultivating compassion in our hearts, in our responses to others. I think it's extremely important when we consider these grand intentions that we also remember that the best way to bring such intention into fruition is in particular, in very specific ways, with someone in particular. We might start at home.

[29:13]

We might start right now sitting in this room with ourselves. Are we sitting in a way that is compassionate and kindly? Are we taking care of our legs and our back? Are we willing to allow our breath to rise and fall unencumbered? Is there someone in our family or among our circle of friends with whom we can focus our intention for the cultivation of a mother's heart? Is there one situation in the world which we can consciously hold in our hearts? I'm sure many of us have seen the, I guess it's Newsweek, I think it's Newsweek, that had this last week a photograph of a child injured in Bosnia.

[30:27]

It's a very powerful photograph. I saw it a few days ago in the grocery store, you know, with the magazine rack there by the checkout stand, so you can't miss it. It was one of those photographs that went into my heart and my mind as if it was seared, seared there. After the first time I saw the photograph, I couldn't remember where I'd seen it, but the image of that child injured in the fighting that's happening in Bosnia has stayed with me since the first time I saw the photograph. It's always interesting to me how much easier it is for a certain kind of sympathy and grief to arise for those who are suffering very far away. And the question that has come up for me this past week is, how can I bring forth this tenderness of a mother's heart, not just for the people who are suffering in Bosnia or in Tibet,

[31:44]

or in Guatemala, but also those who are suffering in central Los Angeles, or in San Francisco, or living in the brush between here and Mill Valley. One of the things I've learned this last week since our visit in Washington, going to the Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial, listening to His Holiness and Elie Wiesel plea for remembering what we as human beings have been capable of and are capable of for harming and committing ourselves for a mother's love and tenderness in the world. One of the things that's come up for me as a result of this visit is that if I'm willing to see the occasion for bringing forth compassion, bringing forth tenderness, bringing forth a mother's heart, the occasions are everywhere if I'm willing to see and hear them.

[33:01]

The look on someone's face, a conversation I overhear in the grocery store, something I hear on the radio or read in the newspaper. Remembering what's happening to the ozone layer every time I go out of the house and remember, oh, right, put on sunblock. It's not just affecting me or us. It's affecting everyone in our global village. What could I do today? that would help me act from this place of treating all beings as my mother? What specific thing might I do today that would be an expression of that recognition? And I'm sure that we would not all come up with the same answer to the question,

[34:14]

But that would, of course, be the best of all, to have diverse answers. Our world and our lives now need diverse answers. Sometimes I feel like a motherless child. If each of us can remember what it feels like when that expression says it, we can then remember that that is an experience which other people have as well. As we were leaving Washington, I noticed a big, tall figure of a woman on top of the Capitol building with a big scaffolding. She was being washed.

[35:16]

And I wondered, I wonder what she is the symbol for. She is the symbol for freedom. But she needs to be washed and taken care of. The qualities of life that our country is based on are the qualities that all human beings around the world want. All beings want to be happy. All beings want basic freedoms. What will our world be like if we all believe in the equality of all that lives? And the only way that that will come about is if each of us takes on the cultivation of that mind.

[36:22]

We have no idea how potent our individual and collective intention can be. and we have a great opportunity just now in the world to take seriously these standards, if you will, that our nation is built on and that our spiritual life rests on. I'm very grateful to Julia Ward Howe for her words. And I would hope that all humans, men and women, can find ways of convening a Congress for bringing about peace in the world. And I hope we don't wait too long to come together in this way of gathering.

[37:27]

I hope that we recognize that we can come together in many ways, literally and figuratively, in our intention to sponsor this tender holding of all beings in the world, without denial and without expansiveness, but with gentleness and tenderness. So I hope that we all enjoy Mother's Day with a slightly different cast on the day and what we can call to mind on our wonderful spring day. Thank you very much. May our intention

[38:23]

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